


About Snakes and Books

by gabsmatos



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: What if the punishment wasn't that bad?Oneshot about a dream I had.The amazing art is a comission by@quadlindaon Tumblr





	About Snakes and Books

Aziraphale and Crowley after the End-Of-The-World-That-Wasn’t had the rest of eternity to deal with. They could choose to deal with it together or apart ... Which wasn’t very prudent of either of them.

Both the Angel and the Demon knew that as much as their belongings had been miraculously restored, it didn't matter anymore if they didn't have each other. Crowley was happy with his scratch-free Bentley and Aziraphale couldn't be more pleased to have his Bookstore back again with no missing books and not a simple dust out of place. But something was missing for both of them.

Fooling their superiors was a brilliant idea indeed. It managed to get both of them out of certain death and proved how deeply they knew each other. They could hardly believe that no one was suspicious about it or questioned how they did it, just both sides agreeing to leave them alone, which was a plus, since that wasn’t the real goal, just managing to escape death being the real plan. Maybe everything was written in Agnes's prophecies ... Maybe not.

After that, the meetings between the two were no longer clandestine, as neither side was disturbing them anymore. At least temporarily. Aziraphale chose to focus on their relationship, forgetting the part that he should continue with his duties as an Angel while Crowley allowed himself more and more to stand beside him and set aside his obligations to spread the evil .... Both were seeming more and more like humans than celestial creatures ... Visibly drained after all they have had to go through recently.

One night when Aziraphale had to close the Bookstore earlier due to the cold weather, it happened. Crowley called him asking if he wanted to spend the night at his house ... Something about the cold made him uncomfortable. He knew that the Angel insisted on living in 1800 and had no heater in that place, also due to the snow he wouldn’t be able to go out to buy one ... Which could make him want to warm up using fire. Even if it was a harmless fireplace, Crowley didn’t want the Angel in danger with another fire. That was the perfect excuse in his demonic mind for him to come over.

Crowley miracled him to his house to avoid the cold. It wasn't quite a home where the Demon lived ... It was always clean, always tidy, the bed always made ... Everything organized and in place, no visitors, no mess, all extremely .... gray and lifeless. Which was quite different from Azi’s bookstore ... In and out of strangers, many voices, the sight of time pervading the bookshelves, decor and walls, the smell of a hot and inviting drink always in the air and the smile of the satisfied owner for working for over 200 years in what was his passion. Always felt better with Aziraphale there than alone at home.

Crowley was waiting for him sitting on his chair, a bottle of wine, and as usual without glasses. At home or just with Aziraphale he didn’t like to use them. He didn't feel like he had to... The Angel knew what he truly was, always knew, and didn't treat him any differently for that reason.

Even though Aziraphale was aware of who Crowley was when he was in Heaven. They never talked about his fall being a very delicate subject .... That was beside the point. Sometimes their exchanged glances and it was enough for them to understand each other ... Then after a while he gave up the habit by noticing his Angel bothered by it.

Aziraphale smiled taking off his heavy coat staring at the Demon "Drinking, my dear ...?" he asked the rhetorical question, it was obvious what he was doing, the question was why. Crowley had a bad habit of drinking when something bad was happening or something bothered him.

Because he couldn’t handle his feelings, he chose to drown them whenever they disturbed him beyond measure. Talking about them was no option for the Demon, and Azi knew and respected it. He drank rarely for good reasons, usually when in the company of the Angel, but drinking alone at home .... It was a rather suspicious attitude. "May I join you ...?" He asked hesitantly, placing his coat on one of the chairs.

The Demon shrugged. "That's why I brought you here, Angel..." He gestured to the armchair near inviting him. Of course, his purpose was to have someone around when it was that cold, in a lonely night, but drinking seemed to be a much more interesting thing to do for them both.

Aziraphale sat down and Crowley was quick to offer him the bottle after a quick sip straight from it. Although the Angel had manners, when they drank like that he didn't bother to share the bottle without using glasses. He had learned that after a while. The Demon sighed visibly tired after the miracle.

Aziraphale frowned as he noticed this. "Is everything okay, Crowley?" He asked a little more seriously, staring at him and placing a hand on his arm. "You know I could perfectly have come here walking and ...." He realized he was going to lecture on Crowley's good deed and immediately reprimanded himself. The Demon looked up until he found the blue orbs of the Angel and shook his head. "Forget it, thanks for bringing me here, dear, that was really kind of you..... What happened ...?" Azi gave up complaining and just decided to listen to him.

Crowley sighed and swallowed hard, placing his own hand over the Angel's. He had no idea how to talk to him about that. "What will be us now, Angel?" He asked directly, slightly scared. From his alcoholic breath Azi soon realized that he had drank a bit more before starting to drink with him, at least another whole bottle, but kept the information to himself instead of starting another lecture. He immediately realized that now was a time for attention, care and affection, not questions.

"What will happen to us now...?" The Angel leaned closer him, not quite understanding what his drunken friend meant. “We're here, aren't we? We're friends .... We're alive. ” He said trying to think of the positive side of the whole situation, none of them died, the World didn't end, they had access to all their worldly pleasures that made them so happy ... Everything was just as it should be, right?

Crowley nodded. "But is it just that ...?" He whispered. “Do you still want to be by my side after everything that happened to us?” His tone sounded desperate… Needy for a moment. Aziraphale had to stop and think for some seconds what the Demon meant between the lines. It seemed like he didn't want to say everything or couldn't. Crowley thought the Angel might be tired of himself or want a break from him ... He didn't want to be away from his Angel anymore after he almost died.

"Where else could I go, Crowley?" Azi asked gently smiling. “I belong here. With you. ”He assured him still not understanding where the Demon wanted to go to. Crowley shifted in place and took one of the Angel's hands. He stared at him more seriously, his hand trembling slightly in denunciation of his nervousness.

"You know what I mean ...." he said grimly. "Hell and Heaven have left us alone... We are free now .... We belong nowhere else, we are on our side now, Angel." He said all at once what made the Angel's eyes widen at the sight of what he really meant by all that. He bit his lip nervously and looked down at both clasped hands. His heart was pounding and his face was hot and blushed .... Did Crowley really mean what he was talking?

Crowley gently placed his hand over his Angel's cheek making Azi face him. "Is that what you really want us to be, just good friends, Aziraphale...?" He caressed his cheek with his thumb. His reptilian yellow eyes sparkled expectantly. It wasn’t possible that what he felt was unilateral ... So many signs left along the eras, so many little clues, so many rescues made by him ... So much insistence on both sides ... Was it just friendship? He decided to drink that night to forget that possibility… What didn’t help and made only worse his need to have his Angel around.

Aziraphale shook his head. "I ... I can't even remember since when I wanted to be something more to you than just friends, Crowley." He said laughing and swallowed hard, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. His hand tightened around the Demon's instinctively, as if he was going to disappear at any moment, as if he needed support to bear what he was feeling.

"At least since that bloody Garden, right?" Crowley smiled when he noticed that what he felt wasn’t one-sided. He needed the alcohol in his body to have the courage to say what he felt... But it was still true even in that situation. Aziraphale laughed and nodded at what he said. They had been feeling and denying their emotions since… Ever.

“That means… you're not leaving, are you? We won't have to break up, will we? ”He asked again, his voice cracking with fear, the wine making him visibly emotional. "You ... I thought you were dead ..." He whispered, wincing once more.

The Angel cupped his face with both hands gently but firmly. He couldn’t tell when the tears were already wetting his clothes and blurring his vision .... They came flowing, shamelessly, fearlessly, not ashamed to let all that he felt for over 6,000 years being summed up that moment. He could see in the Demon's eyes the size of the terror he experienced on the day of the fire, and he could understand the depth of his feelings about him as well.

"Sober up." he said in an order and the Demon swallowed hard. "Now," Azi said even more authoritatively. Crowley hesitated for a moment, the wine not allowing him to understand the real reason for that sudden request. After a few seconds he obeyed, taking till the last drop of alcohol outta him and blinking twice to face the figure in front of him. He smiled to see that he was still there and had not been a drunken hallucination.

"Angel ... my Angel ...." He said in his normal tone of voice sighing with a silly smile on his face. "Please don't cry ..." He raised the back of his hand to wipe away the stubborn tears that insisted on falling on his beloved's face. "Everything I said is true ... I swear." He knew Demon's words weren’t very credible, but he was the exception for Aziraphale and he knew that. He could lie about everything, but not about how he felt towards the Angel.

Aziraphale sniffed as he felt how delicate the Demon was being even sober. "I ... I'm not going anywhere, my dear boy." He assured him once again. "And I know what it can imply for both of us, the implications of our choice ..." He said more seriously thinking about the consequences of their acts if they really wanted to be together ... Crowley now sober, could also reason correctly, not blind and intoxicated by a haze of desire.

He stared at those bright blue orbs shining with tears for just a brief moment and was sure that was the most beautiful sight he could ever have in his life. He wanted to have the tears of his Angel just for himself, wipe them and make him happy. Taking care of him as Crowley hasn’t been able to take care of himself throughout the ages. He needed Aziraphale as well as the Angel needed himself. He approached hesitantly and sealed that very moment with a kiss. He just pressed his lips against Azi's quivering ones.

"I ... am willing to go over everything and everyone .... For you." Crowley said as he broke the kiss, his eyes also shining with tears that he refused to shed, being strong for his Angel. “You are worth all the pain, all the suffering and hurt.” He smiled genuinely, thinking of everything that had gone through his life until it culminated in that moment.

"I fell for you." He confessed talking about falling in love and from Heaven. Nothing else mattered now. Crowley knew Aziraphale loved him above the fact he was a Demon. And he loved the Angel just like grass was green and sky was blue, meant to be. All the pain Crowley had experienced was worth when the reward was to have his Angel to himself. It finally made sense the phrase 'There are evils that come for good.'

_“I love you…”_

That night was the first of many. They consummated the act that would be the most forbidden and seen as wrong of all, but neither of them would regret or turn back now, totally sure of what they wanted... no matter what happened. They couldn’t go on lying and denying their feelings for an eternity.

The next morning they were still together... It hadn’t been a fever dream or a drunken inconsequence. The love between them was real, and in that lifetime could be lived.

-x-

One night sometime later, with no news from Heaven or Hell at all, Crowley decided to stop by the bookstore to see Aziraphale by surprise before returning home. Usually he always warned when he would show up, since the Demon knew the Angel hated being caught off guard .... But that was a different situation. Something had told him since he was absent that the Angel was in trouble ... Again he decided to follow his guts and not ignore them. It had been a while since he'd felt that way about Aziraphale.

They weren't living together yet, but they were studying this option ... It was really their will, but Crowley didn't want Azi to leave the bookstore because of him. Many years dedicated to it to simply give up. They could work together on something ... Or live nearby, the possibilities were infinite. All that mattered was getting together after all. And of course, the Demon being able to be always around to avoid any danger and take care of his Angel so he wouldn’t get into trouble.

Something always told Crowley that the consequences of choosing to be together would fall solely on the Angel. Hell had always ignored the people he related to or failed to relate to ... Crowley's life and actions weren’t a topic of discussion until they disrupted any of the higher orders. When this happened he and whoever was with him would be screwed.

For Lord Belzebub it mattered little whether the creatures Crowley related to were Angels or not, after all Demons were unreliable in any way, and an Angel like Aziraphale was no danger to the affairs of the underworld. Anyway he was indeed the weak spot of the Demon known as Crowley .... And that could be something used against him without thinking twice. It would be a low blow, but it was Hell, right?

On the other hand, the Almighty was a little more ... Centered on Heaven’s topics, it was all a matter of following orders and protocols, since all Demons were just Fallen Angels sent to Hell to Her command. There the rules and punishments were a little stricter and not just a spectacle for others to watch.

Doing wrong or acting recklessly as an Angel had bigger consequences. It thought always terrified Crowley for Aziraphale's safety, but he never talked about it, making sure he was aware of it too and had chosen to go ahead anyway. All the Demon could do was watch, be closer him, cheer for the best, and always prepare for the worst.

Aziraphale took a little too long to open the front door, which made Crowley slightly nervous. He was tired of the return trip and had many things to do with Azi... He had been away for the last two days, having to solve problems related to Anathema and Adam... She had been going through the last pages of Agnes's book and had some things about Aziraphale and Crowley which she thought was wise to talk to both of them. Since the Angel couldn’t leave the bookstore, he let the Demon go alone.

It wasn’t common for them to split up ... But this week Gabriel had contacted him along with Miguel wanting to exchange a few words with Aziraphale. The Angel knowing that surely a good thing wouldn’t be, thought it wise that Crowley should be absent when they came. Therefore, he encouraged his boyfriend to leave town and him alone for good.

After all, if something bad were going to happen, it would only happen to him. He and his craze of protecting his Demon from everything he could after millennia Crowley doing it repeatedly for him. It was the least bit of retribution.

Aziraphale just opened a crack to see who it was. He also had no peephole, something too modern to him. Then he opened the door when he saw Crowley. He tried to fake a wide smile. "Glad you’re back, dear, I was worried ..." He said but didn't approach him. Crowley raised an eyebrow at this, why wasn't he greeted with a hug or kiss as usual? The Angel was also in a curled position, unusual for him that always walked upright.

He entered and closed the door immediately to prevent the cold wind from entering. "Is everything okay, Angel?" He asked, taking off his glasses to see him better. Aziraphale was pale, paler than usual. He nodded slowly. "Yes, I just miss you a lot...." He lied trying to sound convincing. He was wearing a much heavier coat than usual ... Even inside where it wasn't so cold.

Then he turned around. "I made tea, do you want some, my dear?" He asked, walking toward the back of the shop in slow, wandering steps. Crowley noticed that the Angel was limping, which was unusual. "I ... would love to, it is very cold." He said following him closely and offering an arm to support him, to which the Angel gladly accepted as he walked.

Placed both cups with the steaming drink on the table, Crowley sat analyzing the Angel's movements. He hadn't sat upright the way he always did. He was following him as if obliged to do so, not seeming well. Crowley knew something serious must have happened in those two days.

He placed the cup back on the table after a sip and turned to him. "Aziraphale," he said, drawing his attention with a serious yet worried tone of voice. "I have some things to say about .... us." He said gently holding his shoulders. Maybe it wasn’t the right time to talk about what Anathema said ....

The Angel with some effort looked up to face him. His eyes so beautiful and so bright were opaque, utterly lifeless ... As if his body was there but Aziraphale's soul was far away, long gone.

"But first I need you to tell me if anything happened to you in my absence," he said seriously. "And don't lie to me." He held his face, the Angel was cold, not warm the way he used to always be ... His heart skipped a beat thinking about it.

Aziraphale hearing the other's tone sniffed once, twice, and sobbed, finally letting out the groan of pain and despair he was holding inside himself. He shook slightly and a huge lump in his throat appeared out of the blue and kept him from explaining what was going on. He looked down hugging himself and apologizing softly.

Crowley was furtherconfused by the attitude of the Angel. He quietly decided to approach and hug him as he always did at times like this. Offer some comfort, of course. It made Aziraphale let out a different sound. It wasn't a cry anymore, it was pain .... As if his touch was hurting him. Aziraphale instinctively flinched and didn’t return the hug, moving away from the Demon like a cornered animal.

Crowley frowned at that. "Take off your coat." He said authoritarian this time staring at him. He can clearly see the desperation on the Angel's face with that simple request.

“Why, Crowley ....? It's cold and there's no need… ”He said laughing awkwardly, sniffling and wiping his eyes on his coat sleeves when the subject suddenly changed. He had realized, certainly had .... The Angel swallowed hard, knowing he could no longer hide.

"_Angel._" He spoke completely without emotion, without a smile without anything, not entering the mood of the other. "You didn't respond to my hug, you're not sitting up straight you're crying like a lost child, and I know this isn’t just cuz you missed me." He said not wanting to be so rude but having to be to get Angel's attention.

He couldn't point in his face and say that Azi wasn't missing because he had missed him a lot .... Crowley was even more nervous when the Angel didn't answer his phone calls. The Demon had said he was going to have to have a cell phone for that kind of thing, or emergencies but Aziraphale was irreducible about it. They would have to talk about it eventually again.

The Angel swallowed hard. He had forgotten how observant about himself the Demon could be when he wanted. Nothing went unnoticed by Crowley when it came to Azi. With a scowl of pain he began to take off his coat and let it fall to the floor.

Crowley watched closely every action of the Angel and each of his expressions. “You… you shouldn't call me like that anymore, Crowley.” He pulled off the sweater that was under the coat showing some red spots on the back. His chest was precariously wrapped with gauze, bandages that ran down his back. It looked like he had done all that alone but why ....?

Once in trousers only, he looked at the Demon ashamed of his condition. In the desperation of dealing with everything alone and hiding what happened to him the result was disastrous. Crowley was speechless with his mouth slightly open at the sight in front of him that he refused to believe. “Who did this to you?” He tried not to think the worst… that he was just injured in that area but nothing serious.

Aziraphale sobbed again, in pain and shame. He felt weak, he could have pretended better that everything was fine and Crowley would never suspect anything, right? He bowed his head in terror and just raised a finger, indicating that it was one of his own and not a Demon.

Crowley just sighed in defeat. He imagined it had been, but wished it was one of his own. He could take revenge and kill whoever it was in cold blood if he wanted to ... Now fiddling with those from Heaven could cause much greater trouble. Especially with his Angel. He… would have to accept whatever happened to Azi "Did you… fall?" He asked pursing his lips in a thin line hesitant about the answer he might have.

Aziraphale shook his head, relieved that the Demon hadn’t said he was going after who had done that to him. "So what did they do to you?" He asked holding his teary face again with his hands. What could be worse punishment than falling?

"They ..." He breathed and cleared his throat trying to explain what happened. "They came here .... And told me that I would have a punishment to set an example for others .... For fraternizing with... the enemy." He swallowed again trying to gather his strength to continue explaining.

"My punishment wasn’t to fall, as I imagined it would be and was ready for it, they said that becoming a Demon would be very ... merciful so to speak." He laughed bitterly remembering what they told him. To the Angels if Aziraphale turned one of them would be something even positive, to be closer to Crowley, to help the ones below, after all he was very intelligent and manipulative when he wanted.

"So what was it, Aziraphale?" Crowley asked slightly more desperate, kneeling in front of the Angel and holding both of his hands.

"They cut my wings, Crowley" he said simply as more tears escaped his sky-blue eyes. Crowley knew that for the Angels his wings were the most important body part of all, the most beautiful and strong. The one that said to which caste each Angel belonged, and Aziraphale had lost them because of him. That was it. After all he still had his ones.... They had just been broken in the fall, not cut.

The Angel slowly began to undo the bandage, showing the size of the wound. The bleeding was minor, it should have been done with some flaming sword, which cut and immediately healed with the heat ... A godly blow, if they really wanted to be cruel they would have cut it with a normal sword and let him bleed to death. The cut was precise and very close to the skin of his back, almost no feather could be seen.

"Is it too bad ...?" He asked hesitantly, already knowing that it was for the pain he was feeling. Crowley touched the injury and Aziraphale flinched with a shout. Everything was sensitive and still had some open and bleeding parts. Crowley couldn’t believe they really had done that.

"It could be worse ..." He said simply. "Were you going to hide it from me?" Aziraphale nodded. He had bandaged it for some time already planning to stay the night like that. "Why?" He asked turning to face the Angel again. "Cuz this isn't the worst part, Crowley ...." He said already feeling more tears pooling in his eyes.

The Demon paused for a moment to hear him. "The punishment wasn't just for me, it was for you too ..." Crowley raised an eyebrow, nothing had happened to him, no creature from Hell had gone after him, he also knew that taking care of the Angel wouldn’t be easy now that he had no wings and .... His eyes widened as he understood what the punishment really was.

"_I am human now, Crowley."_ He said weeping tears "They said that ... Your weak point is me ... That to hit you they don't really have to do it directly ...." They had done that at the same time Crowley was absent. Something low and indirect. The Demon could scarcely believe that he had let his guard down so easily… that Aziraphale had paid such a high price for his fault.

"And they got it right .... I'm so sorry Crowley ...." He said in a lint of voice lowering his head and sobbing against his hands. They both knew what being human now meant. Aziraphale could die. He wasn’t immortal anymore, had lost his healing power, his wings, the possibility of miracles, everything. He could get sick, grow old, had a fragile body, and all Crowley could do now was watch his beloved go. His punishment was spending the eternity without Aziraphale by his side.

Crowley grunted and growled in frustration. He wasn't mad at the Angel at all, but it was so clever, so ingenious .... He hated himself for not seeing it coming. For not thinking of that possibility. "What if .... What if they didn't cut your wings Aziraphale .... If you didn't accept ...?" He said again asking why the Angel didn't defend or resist.

"They would kill you." He looked at him defeated. "I just had those choices." He sighed. "Someone found out about us changing bodies or something and .... Well, they knew we're not immune to holy water or to Hellfire. ”He said pointing to his back. "Of course I bragged and said 'You can try but it won’t work' but naïve as I am I didn't think they would actually do anything to me to test if I would burn or stay intact ...." He shrugged, they said they were going to leave them alone, right?

“Before they cut, they tested the fire on my wings, and this time I being myself burned like hell where it touched.” He showed along his back small drops of burns slightly larger than a cigarette butt where the fire splashed after melting his beautiful white wings. "This way if they managed to burn me, they could easily kill you too with holy water. You away I couldn't just not accept and let they go after you, Gabriel wasn’t joking around..." He explained everything that happened at once.

Crowley listened and really couldn't believe it. It really looked like they were between the cross and the sword. And Aziraphale chose to sacrifice himself for him ... He didn’t fall, but the punishment seemed to be even worse when he stopped to think. He paused for a moment after the explanation, trying to digest everything and listening to the Angel's soft cry, not of sadness but of pain. Crowley was deeply thankful but there was no time for that.

He cursed himself mentally seeing that he would have to take care of those wounds alone. That wouldn’t be too easy a task. Given the fact that Aziraphale was human now it had to be fast ... He should have already lost a lot of blood in view of how pale he was and time was running for him ... running low.

For the rest of the night Crowley took care, stapled, sutured, and bandaged Aziraphale. The Angel, though nearly pissing in pain, remained silent and sweating cold, bit a towel, and held on to all the suffering he had to endure. He had made that choice for Crowley and didn't think he had a right to scream at all. Every time he thought about it, he remembered that the other punishment was Crowley dying. That not all the screams in the world could translate the pain it would be.

Later they went to bed. Aziraphale declined to have dinner and said he would lie down shortly after the Demon had finished his bandages. He was in great pain, physically and mentally exhausted from everything that had gone through alone. Crowley decided to accompany him not to leave the Angel alone after even his hot chocolate was set aside. At least one glass of water he drank after losing so much blood due to Demon’s insistency.

He medicated the Angel for pain and sat beside him on the bed. Azi was laying on his stomach at Crowley's insistence not to hurt his already damaged back skin. He sighed. "Anything you want to tell me ...?" He said tiredly looking forward with his blue eyes still dull. The Demon's hand rested on his pale one.

Crowley shook his head. "And you?" He said taking his hand and kissing it, preparing to lie down with his Angel.

"You know it's a matter of time now, don't you?" He said in a whisper in a deeply sad and frightened tone.

"Time for ...?" Crowley asked, not understanding where the Angel was going with this again. He could understand it in many ways.

"For me to perish, Crowley." He said at once bluntly. He knew that death would now be a very present topic in their lives. They would live every day as if it was the last cuz it could really be. He sniffled again. "Look, I won't stop you from looking for someone else, Angel, or Demon .... To be with you for real." Crowley frowned, the matter of time was for the two of them to break up.

"I'm not looking for someone else, Aziraphale," he said in a serious, angry tone. Crowley couldn't believe the Angel was thinking he was going to do something low like that.

“Face it, Crowley,” he said, struggling to turn sideways and face him. “I'm mortal now, you're not. Nothing can change that. I'll never be an Angel again.” He sniffed saying the truth out loud to convince himself and trying to hold back tears with an angry face.“ I have more what? 20, 30 years of life… you have all eternity .... And .... ” He looked deep into the Demon's eyes. "_You won’t spend it by my side_."

That was the end of the conversation that night. Crowley couldn’t argue against the truth. The Angel, after all, was giving up their relationship so Crowley could be happy alongside someone who could be with him forever. It was really touching, but deeply sad on the other hand. Aziraphale just didn’t want him to suffer when he died.

What Azi didn't count on was the fact that no one could make Crowley happier than himself. If they had twenty or thirty years, if they were spend by his side, they would be the happiest of his life. Crowley would take care that they were the best ones of Angel's life too, filled with love and affection even not knowing what it is like to be with a person getting older and older each day. The thought terrified him in reality, but he couldn't let Aziraphale know.

-x-

On another occasion, Crowley continued to keep his word that he wouldn’t abandon the Angel, once he finally understood there was no turning back, but with each passing day it became more difficult to go on.

The Demon watched Aziraphale wither like a flower without water knowing himself would be the greatest sadness in Crowley's life when he was gone. He hated himself after a few months and had crises over what he had chosen for himself and the consequences for Crowley. Heaven's punishment had worked perfectly, and both were doomed to live life suffering with the imminent end being only postponed.

Crowley after some time gave up and had to take an initiative in his existence, once again putting the Angel's life above his own. He left him sleeping one night after a tiring day opening his flower shop.

Aziraphale helped him set up, tidy up, clean up, organize, and do everything for the grand opening that would be the other week. Even though he was depressed, he tried his best to be helpful to the Demon and not to show his anguish. He wanted to be the perfect boyfriend even though he wasn't an Angel anymore. He knew Crowley loved him no matter what he was or how old he was getting.

Now that he was human, Aziraphale tired easily and slept like one. It was easy for Crowley to leave at dawn if he wanted to, different from another times when he didn’t sleep at all. That night was exactly what he did. He headed for Hell, something he hadn't done in a long time. He had never been disturbed again by any of the entities there, probably knowing the heavenly plan of making Aziraphale human and agreeing with it.

Upon arriving, he was welcomed by Hastur, which had been previously arranged without the Angel's knowledge. The black-eyed Demon smiled widely, which wasn’t very normal seeing Crowley. “Ready?” He said with the same sickly smile on his face, he'd never felt so much satisfaction before in his life. He didn't question if he was sure about his decision when Crowley came to him.

"Let's get on with it," Crowley said seriously, throwing his cigarette away. It had been a long time since he'd smoked last, but now ... Now anything would calm him down. Crowley knelt on the floor and waited for the worst.

-x-

By early morning he was back in the bookstore. Aziraphale was awake drinking tea and reading a book sitting on the couch. Crowley opened the door exhausted and all he wanted to do was lie down and try to get some sleep.

Aziraphale went quickly to meet him. "Where have you been, Crowley?" he said approaching and examining how he didn't look well. He frowned at that and held his face. "I want the truth," He said, glaring at him. Aziraphale wasn’t mad at him or anything just worried.

Crowley just pulled free of his arms and went straight to the couch with some difficulty sitting and giving no explanation. He couldn't stand still anymore.

"I was looking for you in the bookstore, usually when you can't sleep you lie in front of the fireplace ...." Crowley did it not in his human form but in his snake form. Heat radiated better through his reptile body. “You weren't anywhere. Neither answered my calls... ” He said sitting beside him worried.

Crowley just sighed. "I was ... resolving something I should have done a long time ago, Angel ...." He said in a whisper turning to him. He kept the same nickname even though Aziraphale was human now. He would always be his Angel.

Crowley still had his glasses on his face, he had forgotten to take them off. Aziraphale not oblivious to that detail went innocently and took them for him, Crowley seemed too tired even to do that. The only noise heard was of his glasses falling to the floor and the Angel's sigh of terror.

Crowley had two brown eyes... Normal ones. The Angel's two hands went to his mouth when he realized what the Demon had done. "Crowley ...." He whispered, making sure and no longer seeing the snake tattoo near his ear. He had done exactly the same thing Gabriel had done to him some time ago.

"Ssssurprise," he said without any joy. "I don't think you'll ever find me sleeping near the fireplace anymore, Angel..." He could only feel the Angel's body crashing against his and his heavy, aching cry against his chest as desperate arms wrapped around him in a needy hug.

_"Thank you..."_

-x-

Crowley had given up his immortality because he finally realized that it wasn't worth having all the time in the world if he didn't have the one he loved by his side to enjoy with him. He didn't choose another creature, didn't let time take care of Aziraphale’s destiny ... He just did what his heart told him to. Sacrifice himself.

What Anathema had warned him about was the possibility of a punishment. He said that immortality is not a blessing and mortality could be an option. He had no regrets about his choice, now he could have the same end as his Angel, living both as humans, aging side by side, being ephemeral and that could mean having a happy ending.

_Sacrifices were made in the name of love, and even though it was a forbidden one, this was the greatest of all that had to be done for them to be together._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://mabsgatos.tumblr.com/)  



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